Here are funny quotes that are inspirational
and have wisdom throughout them, but also
will bring a smile to your face as you read them.
We have many quotes and sayings that are our favorite, but one that stands out for us was said by Charles F. Kettering,
"An inventor fails 999 times, and if he succeeds once, he's in. He treats his failures simply as practice shots." How true his words are!
funny quotes about people . . .
quotes about humor . . .
quotes about laughter . . .
quotes on smiles . . .
happiness quotes . . .
quotes about joy . . .
Share these inspirational quotes with someone who is having a bad day, bring a smile
to their face. And, let the wisdom in the quotations be ones that inspire and motivate.
There is one thing about being President, no one can tell you when to sit down.
An eye for an eye makes us all blind.
Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night
with no lights while looking out the back window.
Peter F. Drucker
If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade.
Don't quack like a duck, soar like an eagle.
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.
Swim upstream. Go the other way. Ignore the conventional wisdom.
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
Arnold H. Glasgow
If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble,
you wouldn't sit for a month.
Middle Age is that perplexing time of life when we hear
two voices calling us, one saying, "Why not?" and the other, "Why bother?"
Sydney J. Harris
When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor.
It's to enjoy each step along the way. Wayne Dyer
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it.
A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them. William Arthur Ward
The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world; I am like a snowball - the further I am rolled the more I gain.
Susan B. Anthony
Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.
Inspirational Quotes . . .
Inspiring Quotes . . .
Family Quotes. . .
Broken Heart Quotes. . .
Funny Quotes. . .
Leadership Quotes. . .
Motivational Quotes. . .
Christmas Quotes. . .
Success Quotes. . .
more Inspirational Quotations. . .
Famous People . . .
Inspirational Sayings . . .
List of Proverbs . . .
List of Slogans . . .
Phrases . . .
more Funny Quotes
Bore: one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation.
Two things are bad for the heart - running up stairs and running down people.
Bernard M. Baruch
If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
Age doesn't matter, unless your cheese.
Jean Paul Richter
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!
Nobody's got it made. Nobody, no matter what they look like.
"Here is a test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.
Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a pimpled, ill-conditioned state from mere excess of comfort.
A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. Milton Berle
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
Cultivate the habit of early rising. It is unwise to keep the head long on a level with the feet.
Henry David Thoreau
Every horse thinks its own pack heaviest.
A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.
It is strange that the years teach us patience;
that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting.
The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.
George Bernard Shaw
If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
John Paul Getty
I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
When everything seems to be going against you,
remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.
You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.
When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade.
Live your life and forget your age.
Norman Vincent Peale
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing will work unless you do.
Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.