Erma Bombeck QuotesFamous inspirational quotes by Erma Bombeck, may they inspire you. In her humor find inspiration to start your day on a positive note. She was an American Journalist, and Humorist who inspired many. Born in 1927, she passed away in 1996 and will be missed by many. But her words of wisdom live on.
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises.
I've decided life is too fragile to finish a book I dislike just because it cost $16.95 and everyone else loved it. Or eat a fried egg with a broken yolk (which I hate) when the dog would leap over the St. Louis Arch for it.
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
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